KNEAD IT!

About Me

My mother named me ****. For real. But I prefer Richard.

 

I graduated with high honors from Wellspring School of Allied Health in 2009. After that, I celebrated at Cheesecake Factory. (Lemoncello Cream Torte Cake is my favorite.) Then I went to work for a national chain of spas that locks clients into long-term contracts and charges their credit cards a monthly membership fee. (Yuck.)

 

In January 2010, I opened KNEAD IT! And at first, I limited my clientele to leprous lepidopterists from Luxembourg named Leopold. Because, hey, leprous lepidopterists from Luxembourg named Leopold need love, too. But today, with over 5,000 academic, clinical, and professional hours of experience under my belt, everyone is welcome at KNEAD IT! Everyone except mean people. And spiders. (I also do knot like lasagna.)

 

At 6’4” and 225lbs, I have the strength, mass, and leverage to therapeutically beat your body into submission. Which is knot to say that I will hurt you. I will knot. Unless you crack a joke at my expense. (Grrr!) But my touch is intense. And that is why my most appreciative clients are those who abuse their bodies. Alligator wrestlers, human cannonballs, Fallujan freedom fighters, and circus clowns.

 

Thank you for taking time to read about me. I genuinely look forward to working with you. Especially if you are one of the surviving Bee Gees. All surviving Bee Gees are entitled to a 10% discount.

 

MBTM License Number: 2009028301

 

 

bluedotOver 5,000 academic, clinical, and professional hours of experience

bluedotMBTM, License Number: 2009028301

bluedotCertified member in good standing of Associated Bodywork and Massage

       Professionals, Member ID Number: 844600

bluedotCertified in CPR and First Aid

bluedot2010 Founded KNEAD IT!

bluedot2009 Therapist, Massage Envy

bluedot2009 Massage Therapy Practitioner, Wellspring School of Allied Health

bluedot2006-2007 Doctoral Program, Cleveland Chiropractic College

bluedot2002 Accepted into Mensa

bluedot1993 B.A. Philosophy, St. Olaf College

  • frame
   
   
  • frame
  • frame