My mother named me ****. For real. But I prefer Richard.
I graduated with high honors from
Wellspring School of Allied Health in 2009. After that, I celebrated
at Cheesecake Factory. (Lemoncello Cream Torte Cake is my favorite.)
Then I went to work for a national chain of spas that locks clients
into long-term contracts and charges their credit cards a monthly
membership fee. (Yuck.)
In January 2010, I opened KNEAD IT! And at first, I limited my clientele to leprous lepidopterists from Luxembourg named Leopold. Because, hey, leprous lepidopterists from Luxembourg named Leopold need love, too. But today, with over
5,000 academic, clinical, and professional hours of experience under my belt,
everyone is welcome at KNEAD IT! Everyone except mean people. And
spiders. (I also do knot like lasagna.)
At 6’4” and 225lbs, I have the strength,
mass, and leverage to therapeutically beat your body into
submission. Which is knot to say that I will hurt you. I will knot.
Unless you crack a joke at my expense. (Grrr!) But my touch is
intense. And that is why my most appreciative clients are those who
abuse their bodies. Alligator wrestlers, human cannonballs, Fallujan freedom fighters, and circus clowns.
Thank you for taking time to read about
me. I genuinely look forward to working with you. Especially if you
are one of the surviving Bee Gees. All surviving Bee Gees are
entitled to a 10% discount.
MBTM License Number: 2009028301